Gratitude and Apologies

As I’m writing this, I’ve somehow managed to accumulate 202 wonderful followers on Twitter, and I wanted to use this opportunity to get some things off my chest.

I started using Twitter with a half-formed plan on getting to know other writers, express myself in ways I didn’t know how to do in person and take a few hesitant steps towards getting my stories out there someday. I didn’t think about how to gain followers or how best to make use of Twitter to really connect to others. I actually still don’t really know what I’m doing, and it’s almost been a year since I opened up my current account.

It’s incredibly hard being a closet writer with no one in your personal life who also loves to write. It’s also hard to be so introverted and socially awkward that even talking to other people over the internet, anonymous as it can be, is sometimes a terrifying ordeal. I haven’t really interacted with anyone on Twitter (I can count them on one hand) and even when I have, it took forever for me to write the tweet and then actually have the courage to send it. With every tweet, I keep worrying how it’ll reflect back on me and I keep thinking, “Please like me.” I always tell myself to be more … approachable, shall we say? I try to reply to tweets instead of just liking them, and to answer to replies for my own tweets in a way that doesn’t seem like I’m trying to shake them off or like I feel too good to talk to people.

I question myself and my actions a lot and, in the words of a friend, I put myself down too much. So it’s very encouraging to know that 200 people found my tweets – and me – interesting enough to want to follow me. It’s even more encouraging to see so many people like, retweet and/or reply to my tweets.

On that note, I would like to thank everyone of my followers, everyone who’s ever read, liked, retweeted or commented on even one of my tweets. I appreciate you all, even though I’ve never said so, and it makes me really happy to know that I can make myself heard – and be heard – by people who love writing as much as I do and that I can have a way to connect to and learn from other writers.

I’m sorry that I don’t interact much with you all, and reply to tweets often. I’m trying not to feel so socially awkward on the internet, and I’m getting better at it, but there’s still too much self-consciousness for me to be able to interact freely with you. But I hope you’ll bear with me and continue to support me, whether that’s just by reading what I write, or by liking/retweeting.

Thank you!
E.

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July Camp project

If you’ve been following me on Twitter or read my last few blog posts, you’ll probably have noticed that I’ve decided to participate in Camp NaNoWriMo this July. I even got my project info updated already!

I was supposed to do a lot of prepping, getting to know my characters and make the antagonist more … antagonistic, but I haven’t really done anything. I still don’t know half of what’s going to happen in the story (especially concerning the second plot with the antagonist) or why the antagonist does what he does. So it looks like I’ll be pantsing most of it again, but that doesn’t surprise me at all, haha.

I do have a little summary and excerpt that I’ve written so far, and a few random scenes from the early-ish part of the story. You can find the first two on my Camp profile, and I’m considering sharing a couple of lines from the scenes on Twitter today (June 14) but I also figured I’d put the summary and excerpt here on my blog as well.

The general idea for this story, tentatively titled Forever Is Not Long Enough, is as follows.

Tal “died” when her boyfriend Channing went through his first werewolf transition and killed her. When they meet again, she decides to get her revenge by breaking his heart, but things become complicated when her feelings for him resurface and Jason, another vampire who claims he is her mate, reappears in her life determined to win her back.

I’ve had this story in mind for several years now, but it’s definitely true that it’s best to write a story when you’re ready for it. I didn’t feel like I was prepared enough to write a supernatural romance story, or that my writing was good enough for it. In all honesty, I still don’t feel quite as ready, but I’m also very excited to kind of write out of my comfort zone. I’m hoping that if I do well enough with FINLE and feel that my writing of supernatural romance doesn’t totally suck, I’ll finally start working on Tales of Chance, my trilogy about Chance, the son of Lucifer, and his quest(s).

Anyway, here’s the prologue-y opening of FINLE that sounded a lot creepier and foreboding and gloomy in my head. But oh well, I’ll have enough time to improve it later 🙂

~*~

The moon hung low over the eerily silent forest, illuminating the meadow and the two figures among the flattened grass.

A young girl lay unmoving in the arms of a man, even as he held her gently and swayed back and forth as if rocking her to sleep. They were both covered in blood, and the scent of copper was strong in the air.

From within the shadows, he watched, waiting.

The faint beating of the young girl’s heart slowed, then stopped. In the deathly silence, a raw sound of grief shattered the stillness and echoed through the air.

And in the shadows, he smiled.