Gratitude and Apologies

As I’m writing this, I’ve somehow managed to accumulate 202 wonderful followers on Twitter, and I wanted to use this opportunity to get some things off my chest.

I started using Twitter with a half-formed plan on getting to know other writers, express myself in ways I didn’t know how to do in person and take a few hesitant steps towards getting my stories out there someday. I didn’t think about how to gain followers or how best to make use of Twitter to really connect to others. I actually still don’t really know what I’m doing, and it’s almost been a year since I opened up my current account.

It’s incredibly hard being a closet writer with no one in your personal life who also loves to write. It’s also hard to be so introverted and socially awkward that even talking to other people over the internet, anonymous as it can be, is sometimes a terrifying ordeal. I haven’t really interacted with anyone on Twitter (I can count them on one hand) and even when I have, it took forever for me to write the tweet and then actually have the courage to send it. With every tweet, I keep worrying how it’ll reflect back on me and I keep thinking, “Please like me.” I always tell myself to be more … approachable, shall we say? I try to reply to tweets instead of just liking them, and to answer to replies for my own tweets in a way that doesn’t seem like I’m trying to shake them off or like I feel too good to talk to people.

I question myself and my actions a lot and, in the words of a friend, I put myself down too much. So it’s very encouraging to know that 200 people found my tweets – and me – interesting enough to want to follow me. It’s even more encouraging to see so many people like, retweet and/or reply to my tweets.

On that note, I would like to thank everyone of my followers, everyone who’s ever read, liked, retweeted or commented on even one of my tweets. I appreciate you all, even though I’ve never said so, and it makes me really happy to know that I can make myself heard – and be heard – by people who love writing as much as I do and that I can have a way to connect to and learn from other writers.

I’m sorry that I don’t interact much with you all, and reply to tweets often. I’m trying not to feel so socially awkward on the internet, and I’m getting better at it, but there’s still too much self-consciousness for me to be able to interact freely with you. But I hope you’ll bear with me and continue to support me, whether that’s just by reading what I write, or by liking/retweeting.

Thank you!
E.

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3 thoughts on “Gratitude and Apologies

  1. Nice post! Like others, I’ve just discovered you on Twitter. I find interacting can be hard at times, as well, and like you, it takes a while to come up with tweets and responses. For me, I feel the best way I can show gratitude is to follow everyone back on Twitter and WordPress. So, I often check my list and make sure I do that. For many, that will be a bigger gift than simply sending them a tweet.

    Like

  2. This is so relatable… I just started out on Twitter and it’s making me incredibly nervous. Honestly, I don’t feel at home, but I do want to meet new people; I don’t have many writer friends. Social media are such a double-edged sword for me, but it’s strangely comforting to see that I’m not the only one. All the best to you!

    Like

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